Getting An Ex Back – Why Your Previous Efforts Have Failed

Getting an ex back can be hard work. Up until now you have been putting lots of effort in with your ex to get them back. You have been leaving them voice mails, trying to keep on friendly terms and taking an interest in their life. Contact with your ex is strained at the moment but you have to ensure that it is maintained or you do not stand a chance of getting them back, right?

Wrong. If everything you are currently doing is having no impact on your ex then it is time to take stock and ask yourself why. When you understand exactly what it is that is putting your ex off you can rectify this and change the way they view you. Doing this is not easy – it requires you to take an honest look at your behaviour and admit that your actions have been inappropriate and unattractive. It is a necessary part of the reconciliation process however and it will make you see the whole break up through new eyes.

Have You Been Concentrating On What You Want?

No one could blame you for doing this. Break ups are emotionally fraught and confusing periods in one’s life. When you have been dumped there is a tendency to concentrate on how it has affected you and the wrong that has been done to you personally. Instead of looking inwardly for a second stop and try to see things from your ex’s perspective. How are they feeling after the break up? Did you do or say anything that could have hurt them? These sorts of questions will give you an honest insight into what you have been doing wrong and the solution to your ex’s lack of interest will suddenly become clear to you.

What Your Ex Is Feeling Right Now

After a break up things with you are awkward – dead awkward. Being around you makes your ex unsure of themselves and very vulnerable. They do not want to open themselves up to further hurt by you saying something to them. They are going through a grieving process and they need time to come to terms with the loss of your relationship. To do this they have to be on their own. When you call or text them you will only be putting a lot of pressure on them when all they really want is space right now.

You can’t expect you and your ex to pick up an instant friendship or get back to normal in the immediate aftermath of your break up, it just isn’t normal human behaviour. Their need for space is a huge part of the reason that they haven’t been receptive to your communication attempts. You cannot force the issue here, your ex will open up again and talk to you when they have dealt with the break up and feel strong enough. It is important for you to give them this time or you could end up pushing them away for good.

Have You Begged And Pleaded For Another Chance?

You don’t have to get down on your knees with puppy dog eyes or forcibly latch onto your ex’s ankles for your actions to be considered as begging. Any protest that you have vocalized to make your ex reconsider the break up can constitute begging. If your ex has already made their decision (bear in mind that they will have been considering breaking up with you for weeks before they do it) then no amount of reasoning will make them change their mind.

The same goes for what you say to them after the break up has occurred. Did you say that you would try to change or make it obvious that you are still hung up on your ex? Does any of your behaviour suggest that you have not really accepted the break up and cannot let go? This screams of desperation even if you cannot see it.

How Your Ex Views Your Behaviour

Your ex will be watching out for how you cope with the break up in the ensuing days and weeks. It is only natural for them to wonder if you have moved on or if you are depressed about losing them. The ego is a powerful thing and a small part of your ex will be hoping to see that you are not over them entirely.

If you have been guilty of any of the things above then your ex will see you as kind of pathetic to be honest. You might think that you are only fighting for your relationship and that your ex will see sense or appreciate your efforts, but your ex doesn’t see it this way. These kinds of desperate actions are unattractive in any situation, not just break ups. Instead of wanting to get back together your ex will want to avoid you as much as possible. They will not know how to deal with your pleas and find it much easier to ignore you or keep their distance. Whilst they may feel sorry for you and still care about you as a person, any romantic feelings for you will have long disappeared when you display these traits.

You want your ex to see you romantically again – this is the key. This involves changing how your ex currently sees you. You can turn things around at this point if you have patience and start to implement certain strategies. Over time they will forget about all of the negative things that you have done up until now and gradually see you as attractive again.

To get to this point you have to remember what first attracted your ex to you in the initial stages of your romance. You are still this person and it is just a matter of finding those aspects that made your ex love you. To be successful here you need to look at what behaviours are attractive and unattractive and avoid common break up mistakes that will end up driving your ex away for good.

Your Next Steps

Getting an ex back is very possible if you start to understand where they are coming from and the psychology behind attraction. There are some powerful Facebook attraction strategies that you can start implementing now to ensure that your ex sees you as a potential mate again.

Other than that you need to know where you really stand with your ex in terms of their feelings. They could be doing a good job of hiding how they really feel because they do not want to be hurt again, that is why deciphering signs ex likes you is so important. Only then will you know if your efforts are worthwhile.

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